Overactive bladder Help Section
Helping a family member or friend with a bladder control problem can be a challenge. Many people with these problems feel ashamed and embarrassed, and you may be reluctant to bring up this subject. But action is needed if you want to improve the situation.
Most bladder control problems are treatable and you may be the only one who can encourage your loved one to see a doctor. To assist you, this section includes: |
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Guidance for Family and Friends
If you are concerned that a family member may have a bladder control problem, there are several important things you should know:
• A bladder control problem is
a medical condition
• Bladder control problems are not a normal part of aging
• Most bladder control problems are treatable
• Bladder control problems are very common - 28% of Irish
people suffer from bladder control problems (more
Facts and Figures)
Talking about a bladder control problem with your family member may be difficult. However, you may be the only one who can help to persuade them to see a doctor. Treatment may help to reduce the burden of a bladder control problem in their life. But remember, your concern and your action are needed!
Further advice on getting involved.
Recognising the Signs
The following signs may help you recognise if a friend or family member has a bladder control problem.
• They may be unwilling to be
away from home for more than 1 or 2 hours
• They may wear dark, baggy clothing and/or resists taking
off their coat in public
• They may avoid sitting down in social settings or sit
in a "funny" position in a chair
• They may want to find out where bathrooms are located
in nearby destinations, such as the local shopping centre
• They might resist drinking fluids throughout the day,
especially the day before a trip away from home or a trip that
takes them away from known bathroom locations
• They might only drink fluids when they are at home
• They may purchase disposable pads (in women, even after
menopause)
• They might no longer participate in active sports
• They may become less interested even in "light" activities
such as walking without any logical explanation
• They may excuse themselves after coughing, sneezing
or strenuous physical activity to go to the bathroom
Other signs:
• You notice that they go to the bathroom very often
• When they arrive at a destination, they rush to the
bathroom
• There is a sudden change in their activity level
• You smell urine on their clothing or in their home
Starting the Conversation
First, it may be helpful to learn more about bladder control problems and potential treatments for these conditions.
Then, you may want to share your concerns with other family members. Decide who should first speak to the family member/ friend.
It is usually easier if the initial discussion takes place on a one-to-one basis.
Bladder control problems are difficult to address, much like other subjects such as weight control or body odour. When you discuss a bladder control problem, always respect your family member's/ friend's need for independence, dignity and ability to make decisions appropriate for his of her own life.
Before approaching your family member/ friend, remind yourself of the primary goal - encouraging them to talk to a doctor about their bladder control problem. You may want to begin by telling them that you have recently learned about the growing number of people, of all ages, with bladder control problems.
You might suggest that you did not know that bladder control problems were not a "natural result of aging" which are usually treatable and may actually be symptoms of another health problem. You could also tell them that many people never bother to talk to their doctor about these problems, even though most of these conditions are treatable.
If they do not open up about their symptoms, it may be best to ask directly, "Have you ever had a bladder control problem?" Try to emphasise all of the "positives" that may result from getting treatment - the return to a more active lifestyle and to feeling like one's "old self", rather than letting their symptoms rule their lives.
Encourage them to go to a doctor. If they are too embarrassed to see a doctor, you might suggest they attend a continence clinic, run by a public health nurse. If your family member/ friend is entitled to attend these clinics you may also suggest making an appointment with the public health nurse.
What Shouldn't I Do?
When you talk to your family member or friend, it is best to ask whether they have a bladder control problem. Never make it sound as though you are accusing him or her of having a problem - do not, for example, point to all of the "evidence" of their problem. Avoid any suggestion that you are somehow blaming them for their symptoms or their behaviour.
During your discussion, do not accept the response that a bladder control problem is a "normal part of aging". You may want to share some of the information from this Web site with your family member / friend to help dispel this belief. Use the Tell a Friend tool to let them know about pages of interest.
Referral to a Doctor
Several types of doctors can treat bladder control problems. You may want to start by making an appointment with a family doctor, or, for a female family member, a gynaecologist. In some cases, the family doctor or gynaecologist may refer your family member to a specialist, such as a urologist - a doctor who specialises in bladder and urine problems - or a urogynaecologist - a doctor who specialises in women's bladder and urine problems (as well as other conditions that affect the urinary and reproductive systems).
You can continue to offer support even after a family member or friend has agreed to talk to a doctor about their bladder control problem. You can offer to go with them to the doctor's if they think it would be helpful.
To help prepare for the visit, you may want to suggest that they complete the Bladder Questionnaire. In addition, they may want to use the Bladder Diary to record symptoms.
Your family member/ friend can bring these resources to the doctor's office and use them as a starting point for talking about their symptoms. This information will also aid the doctor with diagnosing and treating their condition.
